Resolving Conflict

The ability to resolve conflict is a critical skill for anyone in the workplace. It is particularly important for those in a direct leadership role or often dealing with cross-group activities. Some people try to pretend the conflict isn’t there; however, unresolved conflict has a tendency to fester and make things worse over time. That’s why learning to constructively deal with it is such an important skill. Here are some steps you can take to help constructively resolve conflict.

It’s important to accept that conflict is going to happen. You can’t run away from it. As a leader, it’s your job to deal with it.

Step 1 - Prevention

While conflict is inevitable in the workplace, you can take proactive steps to prevent conflict from escalating. The best way to do that is to invest in building relationships before there is conflict. If you have a relationship with someone, some level of trust, they are less likely to escalate and more likely to come directly to you for a quick and often painless resolution.

Step 2 – Remain Calm

If you do find yourself in a conflict, it is important that you remain calm. You are not doing yourself any favors by loosing your cool and it is only going to escalate the conflict. Don’t try to interpret what someone else is thinking and assume the worse. Remind yourself that conflict happens all the time and usually can be constructively resolved.

Step 3 – Listen to Understand

If you want to diffuse a situation and prevent escalation, then seek to understand the other person’s point of view. Focus on the problem, not the person. Listen to understand, not to argue. Resist the urge to interrupt the other person and issue a rebuttal. Use active listening skills to show you are listening and sincerely care about their perspective.

A lot of times, you can make progress by simply letting the other person know that you actually care about the issue that is bothering them.

Step 4 – Ask Questions

Ask questions to clarify the other person’s issues. This not only re-enforces that you care about their point of view, but helps you zero in on the core issues driving the conflict. Restate or paraphrase what you think you are hearing and ask the other party if you correctly understood what they were trying to say.

Step 5 – Share Your View

Calmly explain your perspective on the issues. Use “I” statements so that you are conveying your perspective as opposed to making a judgment about the other person or their position.

Step 6 – Identify the Problem

Identify the true core issues or problem. Focus on the root cause instead of trying to enumerate every peripheral issue. Come to a common agreement on the problem driving the conflict. Agree to next steps, so that the conflict is actually resolved, instead of forgotten only to return later.

Up Next:

• Resolving conflict between members of your team or between someone on your team and their peer on another team. 
• Leading a group of people through the conflict resolution process. 
• Creating a team culture that reduces the frequency of conflict on your team.